Author: Catherine Grant

Did you exercise like you were saying? I did stairs. Ah. … Did you really do stairs, or did you just sit and stare? Work the system, Annie. Work the system. The truth is flexible now. Yoga. Probably. Read more →

Two trillion. That’s quite the accounting error. Welcome to Trump’s America. … Where he believes nobody counts. Read more →

You haven’t said a thing. What do you think of my tiara? I think you were better off when you were drinking coffee. Read more →

Got the phone while you were on the pot. The Mulligan guy is coming at around ten tomorrow. “Culligan.” It’s “Culligan.” Mmm. Well – now I don’t know what to say. Read more →

He’s a lot better swimmer than I thought he was. Yeah. He’s not bad. He hasn’t been doing it much lately, but he did a lot of swimming in the late seventies. I thought he was born in seventy-ni– … Oh. Read more →

You guys seem to get way more excited for Black History Month up here. … Every other person at the mall. … Roots splashed across their sweatshirt. … Good stuff. … Read more →

What do you think of this whole Trident thing? Oh, I don’t know. Seems like an awful lot of fuss over some gum. … Uh – hello? Missiles? Actually, I’ve found it’s usually right by the register. Read more →

… … So then… I guess, no “Rogue Two”? Read more →

Why “Zest” though? Have you ever got any in your eyes? I have. Read more →

How’s that go again? “It’s all in the wrist.” Yeah. That’s right. Uh… guys? Read more →

Why is it, again, that we’re s’posed to be excited ‘bout a company replacin’ a perfectly good piece of technology with somethin’ more expensive, more complicated, and easier to lose? Courage. Courage? Yes. Courage is about knowing what not to fear. … Like ill-conceived marketing schemes. Read more →

“Drinker” was dude’s middle name. Not his nickname. Oh. Okay. Alright. Clearly I don’t have all my facts right. I’m not even going tell you what I thought “Bone Wars” was about. Read more →

The internet is a black hole. I spent four hours on the People site flipping through fashion photos. No need for that. You have a great sense of style. You think? Yeah. I know what I’m talkin’ about. You don’t need fashion tips. Especially from some communist rag. Read more →

Yeah. So, I’m doing two spinning classes a week now. Cool. Any chance you’d want to join me? Nah. I think I’m good. … They just put in that traffic circle near the house. Read more →

Burgundy hospital scrubs? Wine tasting. Fun times. Read more →

“Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well, Horatio.” Right. So, here he’s conveying to his friend Horatio that he hooked up with Yorick, who is now a man, but who was once a woman of little means. The sex was amazing. Huh. … I’m going to clean up on this test. Read more →

Pepper Potts. I think. Can you imagine walking around with the initials “pee-pee” all your life? How can that be the worst? What about Batman? That guy’s had it easy. He had rich parents. Read more →

Terrible, terrible day. Fuck — everyone. … Tried that before. Never really works out. Read more →

… … Umm… coffee pot? Really? I usually just put it in brownies. … Read more →

You know what I could go for? A warm, fluffy bed of rice, blanketed in slices of juicy pork tenderloin, sprinkled with a sweet, smoky sauce. My friend… you are into some weird, kinky stuff. Read more →

You get it from cats. It’s called toxoplasmosis and it causes you to take all sorts of unnecessary risks. Live más? Not necessarily. Read more →