Category: Comics

If I had to choose one? Teemu Selänne. Huh. Well… I suppose that’s better than team Hitler. Read more →

Did you see those videos of the giant weta on Wired? I didn’t, but I’m sure access to food is a big factor. This one summer, when I worked at IHOP… Read more →

I imagine that, in my twilight years, I’ll spend a lot of time watching poorly written films starring Robert Pattinson. Read more →

See? I know what I’m talking about. You should have listened to me. Yana? What? Ferme la bouche. So then, you noticed? Kegel exercises are paying off. Read more →

William Fichtner? That guy gives me the willies. Wow. Like – you just gave it up to anybody before we were together, huh? Read more →

I haven’t seen it, but I gather from the title that “There Will Be Blood” is about homogenization of the gene pool. Maybe? Read more →

Did you read any of those articles about Xi Jinping’s proposed naval expansion? He’s not the sort I’d expect to rock belly jewelry but – you know – to each his own. Read more →

So it’s root, root, root for the home team! If they don’t win it’s a shame… … That’s all I know. … Not even sure what sport it’s about, but I’m assuming the “home team” all had Androids. Read more →

Where was it made? Why? What does it matter? ‘Cause I don’t want to own anything that came from a sweatshop. Ah. I see. That’s kind of haughty, if you ask me. I mean, you can just wash the sweat off. Read more →

Lifehacks? Yeah. I’ve met a few of those. Read more →

Just feeling a little off lately. For starters, my sex drive is at an all-time low. Yeah? Usenet. Filled a four terabyte in just a couple of days. Uh… thanks for helping? Read more →

That’s just the new reality of our world. Blended families. Uh-huh. … Or at least it will be once alkaline hydrolysis is perfected and people get hungry enough. Read more →

I’m getting a tungsten ring for his birthday. Yeah? Couldn’t you just get one to start? Isn’t that kinky enough? Read more →

That fool has 35,000 restaurants and he’s still puttin’ out donation boxes so we can buy him a house? Come on! Read more →

If you were to marry Darren, your new surname would be “Small”. Then, if you had a girl, you could give her the first name “Theresa” and the middle name “Mildred”. That way, she would always remember she was once just an infant. … Even smaller than that to start. Read more →

I’m doing that thing I was telling you about. Making a thousand paper cranes. Yeah? No offense but, even with a thousand, I don’t think you’ll be able to lift anything. Read more →

What’s wrong with whole wheat pasta? It’s healthier and it doesn’t stick together. See? Even whole wheat pasta doesn’t like whole wheat pasta. Read more →

What was I just saying? You were saying I don’t listen. No. Before that. Uhh… I was talking about Max Planck. Okay. I remember now. Do you? Sure. I think it’s working too. Your abs look great. Read more →

I finally sat down and watched “Rumble in the Bronx” yesterday. What did you think? I thought it was a documentary about Fordham’s Seismic Observatory, but I guess Jackie Chan is good too. Read more →

Sure, Sheila Kelley is great… but my favorite pole dancer is still Vaslav Nijinsky. Read more →

I’ve been reading a lot about superconductors lately. Mmm. Josephson, Müller and Bednorz, yes, but who’s this “Bernstein” I keep hearing about? Read more →