Category: Comics

What were you guys talking about before I got here? Vera Wang. Ah. Yeah. I dated a guy with that problem. It didn’t work out. He was kind of warped. … Sorry. … He was very warped. Read more →

I guess I’ve just always been driven to success. Me too. Phillip usually takes me with him when he goes to buy cheeba, and when we were younger I used to have my mom take me by his house to “do our homework”. … Read more →

It’s been a couple of weeks but that new girl at work is really starting to come out of her shell. Shy? No. Horrendous sunburn. Really quite disgusting. Read more →

Anita Borg? What about her? Her? No-no-no-no-no. Posthumans aren’t going to just create themselves. … Actually… … You know what? Forget it. Read more →

Make him cook for you. Now that you’re married, he has to do whatever you say. If he gives you trouble, just hit him a little. Isn’t that domestic abuse? I like to call them “performance enhancing drubs”. How do you think Bobby Flay got to be so good? “Flay” isn’t even his real name. Read more →

I thought you said you couldn’t come out tonight because you were researching cloud platforms – but now I find you playing videogames. Shh! I’m about to beat Roy Koopa. Read more →

Okay. Fair enough. You’re right. I can’t point to Albania on a map. But you don’t even know what color shirt you’re wearing. Read more →

I’ve got it all planned out. You know what they say, right? No pain, no gain. But you’re just sittin’ here playin’ Dr. Mario. It’s been, like, four hours. Yeah, but I took a ton of pain killers. A ton. Read more →

So, it’s a blowout sale? Uh-huh. On tires? Yup. They put ‘em on right there. Installation is free. … I think I’m busy tomorrow. Read more →

Python scripting absolutely fascinates me. I mean, they can crush an antelope but can an also hold something as delicate as a pen? Wow! Read more →

You’re awfully quiet. Just feelin’ a little blue. Yeah, baby! I got the DVD box set of Red Shoe Diaries for times like these! That’s not— You know what? Pop it in. Read more →

I’m reading the Book of Han, but it’s pretty dry so far. Think I might skip ahead to the part where he smokes Greedo. Read more →

My psychiatrist called me “a work in progress” and said my failed relationships are “a product of mnemic neglect”. That’s ridiculous. You eat plenty of steak. Read more →

I’m a huge fan of Solomon Asch’s work. Yeah? Me too. Read more →

What are you doing tomorrow? Watching The Purge. I have my ex’s laptop, KillDisk, and little sense of perspective. … Read more →

Guess what? They’re sending me to Rouen. No, they’re “leading you to ruin”, sweetie. That’s how that goes. … My god. It’s like you know nothing about the world. … Read more →

Of course, I’m not perfect. I allow myself a cheat day now and then. Of course. … Ashley Madison? Read more →

Whatever. She’s cute. I like a girl with curves. Bee – she’s bowlegged. I stand by my statement. Read more →

Stick around. I’m going to do a Baked Alaskan. Okay. Sounds good. As long as you’re sure he’ll leave some for me to smoke while you do your thing. Read more →

I guess it was alright. I didn’t like the endin’ though. I could have wrote a better endin’ then that. Truer words… Mmm-hmm. I think she just wishes you’d say truer words. Yup. … Read more →

This year was alright, but I’m really looking forward to starting out fresh in the new year. I’m just going to stay home and watch the ball drop while I drink champagne. Yeah. There’s definitely something about it that helps you forget all the issues of the past year. Mmm-hmm. … Unless, of course, you’re Andrew Luck. Of course. Read more →