Month: May 2013

Did you hear the one about the crooked tailor who was lining his own pockets? Oh – honey – sorry. Jerry Lewis wants you to just stick to being pretty. Read more →

That was an amazing verse. I never knew Anthony was such an amazing rapper. What about my verse? Wasn’t my verse good? Aww – honey – sweetie – sugar – your verse was good too. You are a very good rapper. A very, very good rapper. Okay. Cool. I thought I was startin’ to lose my edge. Read more →

It was good, but it was so sad when Uncle Ben died. I have no idea what you’re talking about – but I can see why you would say that. Read more →

Uh… Umm… Hmm… Bee? Did you try that new shampoo we bought you? Brilliant. Read more →

I was like, “either this wallpaper goes or I do”. So you wallpapered your apartment right then? At two in the morning?   I’m still here, aren’t I? Read more →

I don’t know. I think they might be a little too high-waisted and a little too yellow. Yeah? Well I think you’re high – and wasted – and yellow. … Now, even if everyone else tells me these look awful, I’ll feel this was money well spent. Read more →

It’s almost that time of year again. Do you know what you’re getting yours? Not sure yet. Flowers probably. Spa treatment? Not sure. What about your mom? What does she like? My mom? She loves pansies. … Wow. That’s a horrible thing to say about your father. Read more →